When she asks me why I am crying, I can not speak. I send her away with the words all mommas use so often it’s second nature.
“In a minute.”
She has come upon me unexpected, caught me in the grip of a journey’s end emotion.
I redirect her, unable to untangle my thoughts and feelings.
“Don’t you need to get ready for dance?”
She looks at me sideways, then nods. She knows me well and gives me the small moment of peace I need. I know her, too. She will be back in two heartbeats. I breathe.
When she returns, I am ready and not ready.
I start out OK. I tell her how proud I am of her. Half a sentence into the conversation, words have trouble squeezing past my heart. They come out wobbly but march on.
Baby Girl has had hard, hard times. Life is harsh to our young. No one grows up without a heavy dose of pain.
If I had one real come-true wish I would make the world gentle for her, but I can’t. The enemy is often invisible, but the battle scars are there, plain to see. When she lets me.
On this day she is going to rehearse a dance she choreographed to Beauty From Pain. One she will dance on stage in front of the whole world and everyone who is watching. She will dance with all the grace she can muster. She will dance with all she has, speak with movement and make the song sing a new way.
I tell her, “I know what the dance means—I know what this cost you.”
We can’t look at each other in the eye because now is not the time to puddle up.
Instead, I wrap my arms around her and she rests, enveloped. Her hair is in my face. It should be pony tailed or bunned. She needs to get ready. I don’t release her yet. I tell her to make sure she takes a water bottle. An experienced dancer, she does not need this advice at all.
She nods and I let her go.
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This is powerful ~ “Baby Girl has had hard, hard times. Life is harsh to our young. No one grows up without a heavy dose of pain.” How sad, yet how true. I know it has been true for me.
Blessings and hugs,
I hope the post encouraged you, Kamea. There is a reason for the things we go through, even though it’s hard to see.
Blessings to you.
Lovely Donna, you held her close enough until you are sure she is ready to be on her own.
That’s what God does, holds us as babies and faces the storm with us!
God Bless Donna
Yes, He does!
What a lovely post! Pain is part of life and sometimes can bring such beauty with it. But I think the hardest thing is to watch your child’s pain. What mother wouldn’t wish that pain away! Blessings to you and to your Baby Girl!
Awww. Thanks, Joanna. You have brightened my day with your blessings. 🙂
Pain is part of growing, but it’s so hard for this momma to know this and not be able to ‘fix it’.
Glad you stopped by.
I raised a dancer in this cruel world too.. and for those who dance for Him, the world is especially difficult to navigate. I’m glad to meet you today through Embracing Linky.
I know what you mean, Lorretta. We will pray hard and run after Jesus. That’s the only way to keep on dancing, yes?
Glad you stopped by. 🙂
Donna, what a precious post. Thank you so much for sharing you heart. I pray the dance went well. I found you through the Embracing His Will linkup. I would like to invite you to link up at Mondays @ Soul Survival. I love my readers to be able to read it, as well.
You are too kind, Donna. I will stop by!
May I invite you to #DanceWithJesus each Friday at SusanBMead.com/blog-2? I would be honored to have you join the dance Donna.
Thanks, Susan! I will check it out.
Glad you stopped by.
You held her a little longer when you could have let go. So powerful! Thank you for sharing at Waiting on…Wednesday!
Holly @ http://www.iwillservewhileiwait.blogspot.com
Stopping in from Thought-Provoking Thursday. Wow, thank you for sharing these honest words. What a blessed girl you have to see her Mama cry and be able to understand enough to dance anyway -especially to this song.
Beautiful. (ps.. your twitter button isn’t connected to the right url…)
Thanks Dawnita, for reading and for the heads up on my twitter button!